This is not my ceiling
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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