Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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