just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
