Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Randomize
