I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize