Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
