Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
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I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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