Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
