Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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