Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
