My brain says no but my pants say off.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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