how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
