its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
