brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Can i not drive my cunt home
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
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