They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
