it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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