I bet he comes in French.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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