yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
