I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
high people should be assigned attendants
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I'm too high and old for this...
My feet surprised me
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
