No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
