It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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