Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
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while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
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Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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