What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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