Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
