69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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