Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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