You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
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