i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
