We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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