Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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