What a fucking waste of an outfit
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
It's just like the Real World with babies
my shit smells like andre
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
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