Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
I believe in your delicious
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Randomize
