If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
My penis needs a shock collar
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
