eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
I'm both gender and math confused
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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