so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
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