Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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