It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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