He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
