The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
