my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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