it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
