I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
