The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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