i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I'm really busy with my period
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