More tranny stories later!
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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