Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
