apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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