you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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