my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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