he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Who put my cat in the fridge?
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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