evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
