i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
