He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
