I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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