My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
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