Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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