i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
