Life is so much better after having sex.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
