do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
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