the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
