A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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