Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
